Chapter Twelve

CHAPTER TWELVE

Normality… Is There Such A Thing?

I felt my breath wheezing in and out of my lungs, from a distance I heard Carlisle come and stand behind me and gently force my head between my parted legs. I didn’t resist the pressure, Nahuel’s final words rang loudly within my brain and I felt sick with the pain they caused me. I slowly lifted my head and looked into the stunned face of Carlisle he opened and closed his mouth several times but no sound came out. I pushed away from the table and fled the house. I felt tears of rage, fear and pain sliding down my cheeks, my breathing sawing in my lungs. I ran until my legs couldn’t run any more, finally I collapsed in a huddle and cried myself out. I didn’t want to acknowledge the poisonous words that Nahuel had uttered and yet I couldn’t escape them. I could still hear that cruel jibe as it echoed within the confines of my mind, I knew that I should have stayed and spoken to my family but I couldn’t handle the looks they would throw my way. I knew Carlisle well enough to know that the second I raced from the house he would have contacted the family, and I knew that I didn’t have much time to compose myself before either my father or Jacob found me. There was a tiny voice inside my head that whispered that maybe Nahuel was right and that Jacob and I were pushing our luck by being together, I squashed it because I knew that the cosmos wanted us to be together otherwise he couldn’t have imprinted on me. I lay huddled on the floor of the forest as the world welcomed another day, the sun rising quickly in the east, shining rays of strengthening golden light down on my prone form.

The sound of walking penetrated my sorrow and when I recognised the scent of the person closing in on me I was surprised to discover it was Momma, and not Daddy or Jake, as I thought it would be. She stood beside me, not saying anything, just watching. She slowly sank to the ground next to me and whispered “Honey are you okay?” I shook my head, feeling a fresh wave of tears start, she cuddled me closer and said “Don’t let what Nahuel said worry you, if I had listened to everyone- besides Rose, who had her own motivations- I wouldn’t have you.” I jerked away from her and spluttered “What?” She smiled sadly and said “You have heard the story of your birth but you have never heard the story of your conception, we didn’t think you were old enough until now. You know that I fell pregnant with you when I was human, your father wasn’t happy. At that point they hadn’t heard of anything like you. The second I realised I was pregnant I loved you but you scared everyone else. Carlisle and your father had made a plan to get me back home and to get rid of you before you did me any harm, I couldn’t let them do that so I enlisted Rose. Your father even went so far as to ask Jacob to offer his stud service if I wanted a baby so badly but he didn’t realise it was you I wanted.

It was towards the end of my pregnancy that your father heard your thoughts for the first time, and once he realised that you couldn’t be anything but good he was so eager to meet you. What I’m trying to tell you is that the answers aren’t always there and sometimes you need to take that leap and see where it takes you. I never told you but I had, I don’t know if vision is the right term for it but let’s call it that, a vision of me with Jacob and two little dark haired children. It wasn’t until you were about eight that I realised that it hadn’t been me and Jacob, it was you and Jacob. It was the cosmos’ way of telling me that Jacob had a bigger part in my life to play than I had thought and it was their way of assuring that I couldn’t walk away from him.” I sat staring at my mother, this was the most she had ever spoken about the days before my birth, the things she had just told me made a lot of sense but I still wasn’t sure why she was telling me. I opened my mouth to ask when she smiled and said “Renesmee, that vision- or whatever it was- proves that you and Jacob are meant to be and that you will have a wonderful life. One filled with friends and family, just like ours.” I felt my eyes tear up again but I smiled through the tears and said “Thanks Momma.” She smiled and smoothly got to her feet saying “Everyone is waiting for us back at the house, Jacob in particular was difficult in restraining, he wanted to hunt Nahuel but Carlisle thought it would upset you more if Jake wasn’t there when you came home.” I nodded, grateful that my family restrained Jacob and said “Let’s go and show him that I haven’t run off because of Nahuel.” She smiled and nodded her head, we ran quickly back towards the house.

As we cleared the forest at the edges of the house I was swept up into a pair of strong arms. I buried my face in Jacob’s neck and he hugged me close to him, his whole body was shaking and I pulled away enough to see his gorgeous face. His tortured eyes met mine and I said “Jake, I’m okay. I needed some space and Momma helped me see something I hadn’t really thought about.” He swallowed but when he spoke his voice was still rough with emotion “Nahuel was wrong for telling you that.” I looked at Carlisle who looked in turn to Daddy who said “I’m not sorry for telling him Renesmee. He had every right to know, what Nahuel said effects both of you.” I smiled weakly and said in a voice hoarse from my crying jags “It’s okay Daddy and I’m glad that you stopped him from going after Nahuel because he would have regretted it, and as for what he said,” I sucked in a deep breath and continued “It was nothing but a way at getting back at me for saying no to marrying him, he said it to get even, there was no truth in what he said.” I smiled into Jacob’s face before whispering “There is no way I am allowing you to ditch me now. You tell me you love, always, please don’t let him spoil our day tomorrow. We will cross the baby bridge if and when we come to it; there is no point worrying about it now.” He smiled weakly at me attempt at levity, he placed me gently on the ground before saying “Okay we still have the rest of the day to ourselves what do you want to do?” My stomach chose that precise moment to growl, everyone laughed and I smiled saying “I need to eat but I don’t feel like hunting, I feel like cereal.” Jake stared at me strangely but took my hand and we walked away from the rest of my family and headed towards the house we shared with my parents.

We spent the rest of the day finalising details and as the sunset on our last day of singledom Jake and I decided to do something that normal teenagers do all the time, we went and watched a movie. It was nice to pretend that we were a normal couple, sharing popcorn and cuddling up to one another. It was the nicest way to spend the hours before we had to separate and spend the night apart, something Alice insisted on, I was staying with Momma and the female members of my family and Hayley (Leah had been invited but had declined) while poor Jacob was being kept hostage by the male members of my family and Seth. The rest of our guests were arriving in the morning with the wedding taking place in the afternoon, just before dusk. As the credits started to roll I felt a certain dread at having to leave Jacob, it was an irrational fear but I couldn’t shake it. Of course he noticed and after our talk about keeping secrets I was honest and said “I feel like, I don’t know, I feel like we’re not going to see one another again. Stupid I know but that’s what I’m feeling.” His face which had been tense while he waited for me to tell him why I was acting so weird, relaxed into his signature grin before he said “Sweetheart I think those are pre-wedding jitters you’re feeling. I will be there tomorrow, waiting for you so we can start the rest of our lives together. I am looking forward to be able to call you my wife, eager actually.”  I smiled and said “Me too, except for me it’ll be husband.” As I looked at him his chest swelled and the grin on his face grew larger and his swagger became more pronounced as we walked from the theatre. If I had’ve had any more doubts about the wedding the look on his face would have dispelled them. We drove my Mini Cooper back home at normal speed, I think we were both wanting to prolong the separation for as long as possible but as we pulled up outside our house we were suddenly surrounded by five large vampires and one hulking human-shaped wolf, they all stood crowding the car, smiling and jeering as they pulled me from the passenger seat before relinquishing me into the strong arms of my mother. Jacob smiled expectantly before coming to my side and kissing me gently he said “I will see you tomorrow, I love you.” He raised his head and looked into the topaz eyes of my mother and said “I don’t think I’ve ever actually said thanks to you Bella.” I jerked in surprise and looked up into Momma’s face in time to see her shake her head in confusion and for her to whisper “For what Jake?” the love she felt for him, and I could now look at that love for what it was - friendship, was shining in her eyes. Jake smiled a small bittersweet smile before saying “If you had’ve listened to any of us we wouldn’t have Nessie, if you hadn’t have had the strength it took to love her and carry her inside you, even while she was breaking you apart, I wouldn’t have found the love that you tried to tell me you had for Edward. I didn’t understand how one person could make you feel that way, until I first saw Renesmee, from that moment I understood. I just want to say thank you.” He leant over and kissed the marble skin of my mother’s cheek before dropping another lingering kiss on my mouth. The kiss must have lasted too long for the impatient males because before the kiss finished they had dragged Jacob away, they pulled him reluctantly in the direction of my grandparents house, Jake calling the entire time “Love you Nessie, see you tomorrow, bye!” I found I was laughing and crying as I waved goodbye to the other half of my heart.