Chapter Ten

CHAPTER TEN

How Do You Say Goodbye? Oh How About Marry Me!

The morning of the funeral dawned sunny and dry. We drove to the cemetery a large procession of cars led by the hearse. The ceremony itself was short and because Billy had shunned tradition by getting cremated we weren’t required to stand around his open grave, which I was thankful for. Graves had always unnerved me. Rebecca, her husband Nate and their twins; along with Rachel and Paul who, were expecting their second child, stood holding their little girl in their arms and beside them stood Jacob and I, we greeted everyone and accepted their condolences as they arrived at the community hall for the wake. It was here that I saw my parents for the first time since our fight; they were accompanied by the rest of my family who stood towards the rear of the hall, avoiding the other mourners as the other mourners avoided them. Eventually it was only the pack and my family left and we decided to go back to Billy’s and celebrate his life the way he would’ve wanted, by watching football. We were all filing out of the hall when my parents stopped both Jacob and I, I moved closer to Jacob fearing they might snatch me and run, of course my father heard this thought and he smiled a tiny crooked smile before saying “We won’t make you leave Ness. We learnt our lesson the other day.” I rushed into his embrace and grabbing my mother’s hand I whispered “I missed you both so much, I hated not speaking to you, I over-reacted.” My mother snorted and said “Yes, it’s something you inherited from your father.” We laughed as my father pretended to look offended. Jacob spoke softly “Edward?” I, obviously, missed the rest of the question but the look on my father’s face had me concerned about how long this relaxed and pleasant mood could last. Eventually my father nodded and taking my mother by the arm he said quietly “We will see you both back at Billy’s. Jacob don’t mess it up.” I watched them go and when the car had rounded the corner and I could no longer see them I turned to Jacob and asked “What was that all about?”

Suddenly Jacob looked sheepish, he was dressed in a dark suit, looking every inch as if he belonged on the cover of a magazine, and he said “I was asking him something, and I probably should have done it earlier, but better late than never, right?” I looked at him, confused, what was he babbling about? I waited as patiently as I could for him to explain his statement and when he didn’t I said “What should you have asked him ages ago?” I was surprised when he released my hand and started to pace up and down in front of me and when he remained silent I started to get nervous, then suddenly he started to talk and it took all of my concentration to keep up with what he was saying. “Well you only have one more term of school left and you want to go to college and we can’t be without one another and we can’t just shack up together and I wanted his permission because that is the way it’s done and I didn’t get to get my father’s blessings, even though he loved you and wanted me to be happy.” He suddenly stopped and took a deep breath before saying slowly and precisely “Renesmee Carlie Cullen will you marry me?”

I was stunned, I knew he loved me and that eventually we’d get married but I didn’t think that it would be so soon. I had so many questions whirling around inside my head one standing out the most. I walked closer to him and placed my hand on his face ‘Is this because we slept together?’ I wanted him to want to get married not out of some misplaced sense of duty. He laughed and said “No that isn’t the reason, although it’s probably a good reason, the reason I am asking is because I spent two days without you and I almost went crazy. I want you there by my side forever.” I nodded and looking him in the eye I said “Jacob Black I would love to marry you.” He whooped with delight and crushed me against him in a bear hug.  He danced around the hall saying “We’ll do it as soon as possible, and then we can get a place together and spend the rest of our lives happy.” I laughed at his antics even though his statement had sent doubts flowing through my head. I kissed him and said “Okay, okay, put my down you’re making me nauseous.” When he had set me on my feet I pulled his body closer to mine and said “Do we tell everyone now? I mean, is this the right time to tell everyone something so happy at a time that is so sad?” he frowned slightly at my hesitant tone before saying “Ness this is the perfect time. There had never been a better time. Dad wanted me to be happy and you make me happy. Trust me this is what he wanted it was practically the last thing he said to me.” He stopped speaking as he realised what he had said but it was too late, I raised one eyebrow and asked “Are you only doing this because of Billy?” He shook his head, his hair flopping into his eyes, and said “You should know that I don’t do anything that I don’t want to do, Ness. Please don’t think that I don’t love you enough to want to marry you on my own merit. Let’s go and tell everyone.” He tugged me towards the door and we ran through the rain to the waiting car.

The ride back to Billy’s was quiet but not in an awkward way, we were both relaxed enough to just watch the scenery fly by the speeding cars’ window. We pulled into the front yard of Billy’s house and getting out of the car we walked into the house hand in hand. As we walked into the house everyone fell silent, if I hadn’t been so worried that everyone would think that we were being selfish I would have found it extremely weird, I looked up into Jake’s face and he leant down and kissed my forehead saying quietly “It’s okay, just remember to breath.” I nodded and took an obedient breath. Jacob watched me do this and smile in encouragement before turning to the waiting crowd and saying “We have an announcement, we know that today had been difficult for everyone but we wanted you all to be the first to know” at this he shot my father a sly look before continuing “that Ness has agreed to do me the honour of being my wife. We’re getting married.” The cheer that erupted from the amassed crowd surprised me. I wasn’t expecting such an overwhelming excitement from everyone, including my family. We stood and accepted everyone’s congratulations before someone bought out the food and drink and the party Billy would have wanted really got under way.

Our lives returned to normal in the weeks following Billy’s death and Jacob’s surprise proposal, everything was exactly as it had been before our trip to Forks, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when two weeks after returning from Forks I got my period. I knew deep down that Jacob wouldn’t be ready for that big of a step in our relationship. I returned to school and Jacob returned to the college and life moved on. Before we knew it winter was upon us, Billy had been dead for three months, and Christmas was only weeks away, Jacob and I were lying on his bed, although supportive my parents didn’t allow us to share a bed, listening to the sound of snow falling down outside. I was enjoying the quiet and rejoicing that I had finished high school when Jacob sighed deeply and said “Hey Ness don’t you think it’d be great to set a date, you know to get married.” I sighed out loud and wished that he hadn’t bought it up, I was in no hurry to get married but I knew it meant something to him and to the rest of the world, so I said “How about next Christmas, that’s a year. That gives us plenty of time to organise things and for everyone to organise themselves so they can come down and laugh at us in formal clothes.” I could almost hear his eyes rolling as I suggested a years’ wait, I knew he wanted to do it sooner but I just wasn’t ready and if I was honest with myself I wanted to put it off as much as possible, he rolled over to face me and said “How about this Christmas?” I laughed until I realised he was serious; I panicked and said the first thing that popped into my head “I don’t have a dress.” He chuckled and said “With the money your family has I’m sure that you can find a dress without any trouble.” With a sinking feeling I knew that no matter what discouraging ideas I threw at him that he would have an answer for them so taking a deep breath I said “Sure, why not.” He gathered me close and I soon forgot my misgivings.

That was how I come to be standing in what could possibly be my worst nightmare, a dress shop filled with giggling shop assistants and miles and miles of lace and tulle. Not just any dress shop, a bridal dress shop. I was accompanied by the females in my family Grandma Esme, Rose, Alice and Momma who all seemed oblivious to the fact that I was hyperventilating by the time we had reached the doors, let alone by the time we got to try anything on. Like Mom and Dad’s wedding Alice had been given free reign over decorations and guest lists and all the trivial things that come with a wedding. We had decided to avoid the weird questions over a teenage bride that Mom would be the one trying on the dress but considering she only looked slightly older than me we still got strange looks. One thing cured the looks and that was the wad of cash Rose handed the manger so that we could close the shop until we found ‘the’ dress and considering that between everyone the marriage total (even if they had married the same person) was close to twenty times, they still seemed to get excited about the whole thing. Well except Mom, she understood why I was reluctant to stand in front of everyone and be the centre of attention, but there was a part of this that I hadn’t even allowed myself to think in any one else’s presence. I was terrified that we were making a mistake. I knew I loved Jacob and that he loved me, that wasn’t the issue, the issue was why we couldn’t wait. I wanted to make him happy and if this made him happy than this was what I’d do.

Once everyone had cleared the shop, which happened in record time, Momma was the centre of attention. I had final say on the dress, even though I really didn’t care, so started the parade of dresses. For nearly an hour we stood while they primped and preened my mother and she modelled what seemed like a million dresses. They had just taken her to undress her and my attention wandered. It was as I was doing this that I spotted a dress that made my heart stop and beat double time. It was an ivory bodice and skirt, the skirt was full and swayed like a bell, the bodice was lace up in the back and both the bodice and the skirt had intricate beading and crystals that reflected the light. I pulled it from the rack and stood staring at it, the manager came over and said “With your sisters colouring that might make her look washed out.” I looked away from the dress and shot a pleading look at Alice, who even though she couldn’t read minds knew what I wanted, she danced to our side and laughing said “Hey Ness why don’t you try in on, you know just for fun.” The manager tried to hide the frown of disapproval at trying dresses on just for fun but with the amount of money the store had been given she ushered me into the fitting room and another assistant helped me into the bodice and skirt. The instant I put it on I fell in love. It fit me like it had been made for me and when I looked in the mirror I was stunned to see a smiling person staring back at me. I lifted the front of the skirt and walked gingerly out to my waiting family, as I stepped through the fitting room doors every head turned in my direction, and for once I didn’t mind. My family stood motionless and as I neared the little dais I heard the manager murmur “She looks divine. If she was getting married than she wouldn’t need to look for any other dress.” I smiled serenely and looked for Momma, she walked up to the side of the podium and I reached for her hand, she smile beatifically as I thought “I love this dress, can I please get this one? I feel like a bride should feel.” I turned and walked off the podium and back into the fitting rooms. By the time I had redressed in my own clothes and walked back out to the display room the dress had been boxed and paid for and my family were ready to leave.